Negotiation Can Be Tricky Here Are 5 Things You Should Never Say

Negotiation Can Be Tricky Here Are 5 Things You Should Never Say A negotiation is, simply, a mutual discussion and arrangement of the termsof a transaction or agreement that could be about a job offer, a salary increase or a contract negotiation of any kind. The act or process of negotiating, however, can be intimidating.Thats why all too many of us often shy away from asking for mora and better mora money, more flexibility, better working arrangements, more leave, a larger team, a better team, better access to material resources, more assets, better prices. While some of us are afraid to ask, some of us do ask, but stop short of asking for what we really want or admitting to our true worth.Heres the thing Bynotlage asking, youre missing out on money and youreputting your long-term opportunities and earning potential at stake. So you need to understand thespecies of negotiation. There are strategies upon strategies, and women have the skills but they dont always use the tactics.Why ? Most women are extremely uncomfortable when they have to negotiate, and some go pretty far out of their way to avoid it. If you (or someone you know) has ever said things likeI hate to negotiate. Just the thought of it makes me want to run away, screamingorI shouldnt have to brag about my work just to get a salary increase.orEvery time I get a no it makes me question my worth. Even if its something like, We cant give you an increase now because sale are down. I know logically that may be true, but emotionally it feels like a slap in the face, a rejection of the value I bring every day.Then youll be happy to hear that youcannegotiate and do it well with a little confidence and a lot of preparation. You can influence the final deal, get an increase in your job offer and find out exactly what you need to do to get that salary increase into your bosss budget next time. Both parties can reach an agreement with a win-win outcome that comes with a successful negotiation if both parties a re good negotiators.If youd rather die than negotiate, the most common way of dealing with it is to avoid it. Its the deadly combination of conflict and uncertainty of the outcome that triggers our survival instincts to run away. If you would much rather watch a few episodes ofParenthoodon Netflix than face that big meeting you have tomorrow with your boss or a potential employer where you have to negotiate, know that youre not alone.Let unterstellung numbers motivate you Notnegotiating is likely contributing to your pay gap. Men are not as afraid to negotiate. In fact, according toa surveyby Glassdoor, 59 percent of people do not negotiate their salaries. The number averages out between 52 percent of men and 68 percent of women. Thats a 16-point difference between the sexes, which may be the difference between your salaries.Preparation is 90 percent of your success. The other part is about understanding how negotiation even works. Lets start there.First, its important to realize th at the negotiation doesnt even start until someone says no. Our reluctance to negotiate past no is even harder because both men and women miss the key point Its not really a negotiation if were asking for something we know our bargaining lebensgefhrte also wants, writes Victoria Pynchon of The Muse. Negotiation is a conversation whose goal is to reach an agreement with someone whose interests are not perfectly aligned with yours. And lets be honest, who has relationships with people who always want what we want? No one So if we want to get what were entitled to get or capable of getting, we either have to negotiate past no or spend the rest of our work lives being victimized by people who are happy to place themselves and their needs ahead of ours. No signals an opportunity to problem-solve the conflicting and overlapping interests both parties want to serve. Invite your bargaining partner to your side of the table to figure out how both of you can get as much as each of you wants a s possible.Next, its important to know that the bulk of any negotiation is done before the actual conversation. Planning and practicing are the keys to success, along with a few tips on what to say and what to avoid.Here are five things you should never say in a negotiation. These tips will help you be more effective when you negotiate your salary at a new job or a salary increase at your current job. Enter your official negotiation training.5 Tips to Negotiate Your Salary1. Dont Give an Open-Ended RangeItsa common mistaketo soften your ask by using a range. Its menschenwrdig nature to choose the end of the range that benefits you. If you say, Id like to makebetween$65-80k, you will gravitate toward the high end of the range since that would be your salary and benefit you. The hiring manager will gravitate to the low end of the range because she wants to pay you the least amount thats required to make you take the job and feel happy about it. So the number one negotiation tactic is to be explicit and be direct thats what makes good negotiators.Its also important to ask for more than you want so you dont suffer from buyers remorse, which certainly wouldnt feel like a win-win negotiation even if the person youre negotiating says yes to your ask.If Iask for a five percent raiseand my boss says yes without hesitation, I generally suffer from buyers remorse, certain that if Id asked for seven percent or maybe even 10 percent, my bargaining partner would have given it to me, Pynchon explains. This is just one of the many reasons why its important to ask for more than you actually want. The other reason to do so is the proven influence of the first number put on the table. Negotiators call that number an anchor because it sets one end of the bargaining range and moves your negotiation counterpart in its direction throughout the course of the bargaining session.The no-range idea isalso true for deadlines. Rather than, This type of project requires two to four weeks, try saying, This type of project requires three weeks. Be direct and youll get more of what you want.2. Dont Tell the Other Person That You Have a Hardship That Is Not Related to the NegotiationYou get a raise by showing results of your work, not because your kid is off to college or you want to buy a house. You would not say, I need a raise because I just got married and want to buy a house.You would say, Ive shown behauptung (specific) results and increased our sales by ($X amount) over the last year and Id like to review my compensation with you.Though we seldom reflect on our relationship with money, if asked wed have to admit that money itself in its tangible form can neither sustain life nor enhance it, Pynchon explains. Before negotiating any deal, take a look at the way in which you value money, Pynchon advises. Is it position youre seeking? Security? Education for your children? A meaningful break from work that takes you to a foreign country or high-end spa? Then ask you r negotiation partner what they value, prefer, need, fear, prioritize, or desire. Youre apt to find yourself on the same page of value once you stop treating money as an objective meaaya of worth and start seeing it for what it is a subjective experience that can make $1,000 act in the world as if it were $10,000.The same is true with deadlines that would put you at a disadvantage, like telling your supplier, My client needs this by the 30th or well lose the deal. Consider your negotiation style in either of these situations and youll have a better shot at a win-win outcome.3.Dont Avoid the First NumberOld data might tell you that, in the process of negotiation, you should wait for their number before offering your own, but newer data shows that you can be at an advantage when youResearch your number, then share only the highest end of that range.Share one or two examples that support your number. For example, Ive done quite a bit of research on this and Ive seen that a job with th ese responsibilities typically pays up to $84k. Ive seen a number of jobs at X and Y companies that are comparable to this one.Or, The house down the street just sold for $350k. Ive seen two other listings in the neighborhood that are comparable.The more knowledge you have of the hidden interests and constraints under which your bargaining partner is operating, the more negotiation power you have, even in a sellers market, Pynchon adds.She also says that you can go ahead and take credit for things that you cant necessarily prove. Its just another part to the art of negotiation thats often overlooked.Go ahead, she says. Take credit for last quarters increase in net profits even if you cant prove it. You dont have to file a declaration under penalty of perjury or testify under oath on the witness stand. Youre highly unlikely to be cross-examined because your negotiation partner cant prove that your causal assertion is untrue. Millions of years of common sense support your assertion th at correlation is causation.4. Dont Take Things PersonallyWomen have a tendency to take things personally and a negotiator can take advantage of that. The other person might share a number with you, especially if you let them throw out the first offer, thats intentionally absurdly low.If you react emotionally, you tend to lose control and say something you regret or get quiet or just accept the offer because you dont know what else to do.Emotional intelligence is important in business but the opposite can be true in negotiations, especially for your salary. Do everything you can to remove your emotions from the conversation.Instead of getting emotional, get curious. Ask a question like, Im curious how you came up with that offer. Then listen to be sure they answer the question. The other person might say, Thats what we have in the budget, which doesnt answer your question. I understand thats what you have in the budget, and Im curious about how you came up with that number. You may have to ask nicely two or three times before they hear you.Understand that the push-back youre getting is just an opportunity to problem-solve in a way that satisfies your interests and the other partys interests at the same time, Pynchon explains.5. Dont Overshare for the Sake of Being AuthenticOnly share information thats relevant to the situation. Its tempting to try to find an authentic connection with the other person by over-sharing. Women especially tend to negotiate with the relationship in mind, while men are more focused on winning. You dont have go overboard on either.Stick to the facts of the negotiation, like the results youve prepared to justify a salary increase or your stellar wertzuwachs at your last company that have earned you a salary at the high end of the range.Instead of over-sharing, build rapport by asking the other person questions. Ask what they like about the company, what they see in their own future, where they started out in their career. These open an d genuinely curious questions build rapport without you spilling your guts out or accidentally sharing information that might hurt your case.The Bottom LineTaking the time to prepare and practice for your negotiations will give you a boost of confidence for the big day. A big part of this is thinking through what to say and what not to say.Once youve thought through what to say, practice saying it out loud. Things sound different when you say them. You want what you say to easily roll off your tongue, not get boobie-trapped by lack of practiceNegotiation and conflict beschluss will come up a lot in life regarding different issues. Now youre equipped with the skills and know the tactics to position yourself for success. Just remember A successful negotiation, a win-win negotiation, in other words, is one in which both parties keep an open mind. You might have a different negotiation style, but you can reach conflict resolution if you both respect the process of negotiation and meet i n the middle regarding whatever issues are at hand.--Melissa Hereford is a negotiation expert who will teach you to respond clearly, calmly and effectively so you can get more of what you want, all while building stronger relationships. Get your free negotiation script athttp//MelissaHereford.com